Contribution

I think we have really lost the meaning of being productive and contributing members of society. In today's world when all we care about is the bottom line, we no longer do things just for the sake of doing something good. It's all about making money instead. Investors have driven up housing prices so that those who work hard to own a home still cannot. Houses are for living in, not making money off of.

At a counseling internship site where I was working, we had to worry about our program getting cut by bean counters if we didn't show a monetary benefit to having the program. Making money off of someone's distress, does that make sense to anyone? What about just having the program because people need help?

Don't even get me started on the wealthy people who can afford to pay taxes and still try to find ways out of it. I don't UNDERSTAND the mentality of making a purchase so that the money doesn't go to taxes. And often times, it's a purchase that they wouldn't otherwise make. They don't need that extra boat, or car, or shitty modern art painting for $20K, but just to get out of paying taxes, they buy them anyway. Does this make sense to anyone? What about paying taxes so that the things our society needs has a greater chance of being bought?

It's amazing to me how many people look at our government as being a separate entity that has nothing to do with them. But folks, the personal is political and the political is personal. We are the ones who vote for those who end up in government positions, well, those of us who vote anyway. And without the four letter word "taxes" we would not have the fire department, police, schools... And it's certainly not large corporations who are going to help provide those services. They won't settle for a 15 percent profit margin rather than a 20 percent one.

Just remember this: when you die, it is not going to matter how much money you had. The only thing that's going to matter is what you gave back to your community.

Visiting the past

When I was in the Midwest last week I visited the small town in which I spent the first half of my childhood. I have also been in touch with a friend of mine whom I've known since we were 5, and I got a chance to meet up with her. But after seeing her or my old house, or my old elementary school, I didn't get that creepy, emotional feeling I was expecting to get. And I tend to be an emotional, sentimental person, so I was expecting this experience to bring some tears to my eyes. But that didn't happen and that was surprising, especially since so many of my childhood memories are painful ones.

Then I asked myself, why did I go back there? Of course I wanted to see my friend, since I hadn't seen her in 19 years, but if she was no longer there, would I have wanted to drive through that town, I don't know. I guess I was thinking that visiting it would be therapeutic in some way, telling myself I'm not running from painful memories. But since the visit was not emotional, I wonder if I would've needed to go.

What about you? Do you think such trips down memory lane are worth it?

Happily Ever After

Not that this is headline news or anything, but it has recently hit me hard how much of a disservice TV shows and movies do to us, particularly for those of us who grew up in a sheltered environment. These shows and movies, particularly romance-related ones, give such a warped view of our world. But someone like me, who was not able to get out that much, got most of her information and expectations from such shows. Shows where people are perfect: attractive, intelligent, have a sense of humor, and problems get resolved smoothly with no real hurt feelings. They give women the sense that their mothers' expectations of potential son-in-laws can be met: tall, handsome, nice, responsible, intelligent, rich, and commitment-minded.

I realized that this is a large contributor to my being picky with dating partners. And it's probably safe to say that a lot of people, like the Seinfeld episode points out, find some stupid thing wrong with someone and then don't give that person a chance. Through my dating experiences over the years, I've come to the conclusion that those men I was initially attracted to were not the best fit for me, and that I wasn't seeing those who I may have matched with. I was looking for Mr. Perfect when no such person exists. The people on tv are not the real, wonderful people this world is made of.

I have recently started seeing someone, a man with whom I've felt the most compatible. At one point I was seriously thinking of ending things with him completely, but then decided to tackle the problem in the relationship I was faced with, and because I did so, we have now been seeing each other for over a month and a half and we're having a great time. Otherwise, it could've been a part of my pattern of short-term, casual relationships. Perhaps it was out of habit and not realizing it that I was considering dumping him.

It then hit me: if I hadn't given him a chance despite the issue that came up, I wouldn't have gotten to know him as well, and wouldn't have found him as attractive as I do now. Of course that seems intuitive, but perhaps many relationships do end prematurely, even if we think that ending them is the right thing to do at the time.

After all, if you don't give enough time for an attachment to develop, then you will not regret the break-up, and then you could be missing out on something wonderful.