Courage, or foolishness?

How is it that doing something courageous can make you feel so foolish? I've tried to be mature and face things head-on, yet I feel like the one who got slided.

What's the point?

The book I'm reading right now is A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby. Presents interesting existential questions in a comical story about four individuals contemplating suicide. One guy brings up a good point about how people who killed themselves (Virginia Woolf, Sylvia Plath, Vincent Van Gogh) were the more admirable ones that you'd want to spend time with whereas the assholes manage to stay alive (George W. Bush, Osama Bin Laden). Of course you can add those we'd hate to the first list and those we love to the second list but nevertheless, it's an interesting observation.

It just reminded me of one of the things that makes me so jaded and have less motivation lately. I mean, it's a vicious cycle of the political back-stabbing crap keeping good people out of those businesses, the very people who if they stayed, might be able to change that crap and turn things around. But those good, honest people also have to look out for themselves, and they leave because they don't want to be partied to unethical or immoral behavior. And there are plenty of situations where the behavior can continue and nobody will really stop it (professors with tenure is one example).

So change never happens.

So what's the point?

I'm starting to question my idea that people should strive to give something back to the community. Because how much change can be made when we have to fight so hard, fight a corrupt system?

I'm starting to wonder if our purpose is to just enjoy ourselves and just pass the time until the sweet release of death.