Strength

On Wednesday and Thursday of this past week, I ran 4 miles in about 55 minutes. It had been a while since I went jogging, especially that distance, yet I didn't get stomach pains, nor was I too sore afterward. It's something I'm quite proud of and decided to set the goal of running a marathon before I turn 40. I'm a very goal-oriented person and setting new goals and the thrill from the challenge of reaching them gives me a lot of satisfaction. And lately, it's been the way that I'm coping with turning 30.

This accomplishment also reminded how strong I am, not just physically, but also mentally and emotionally. It's amazing that with my experiences I didn't turn into a drug addict, and how well I've handled challenges in my life despite being alone. And I've also been thinking: does God really give us only as much as we can handle? I've handled a whole lot on my own (so fatigue could be a major factor in my third-life crisis) and maybe God gave me those challenges because I am capable of handling them? I've been jealous of those who have the support of either significant others or parents. But I've also recently learned that many of those same people have handled more than me (death of a close one, surgery, serious break-ups). Is it because I'm alone that God hasn't given me those types of challenges? I wouldn't be able to handle them at all?

Yet this idea sort of conflicts with my notion of us creating our own realities, rather than a supreme being having all the control.

War

We are such hypocrites in today's society. We teach kids in school not to fight, and mediate their conflicts yet, war seems to, for the most part, be the only way that countries know how to resolve issues. And how much do we really value life in this country? So it's not okay for women to decide whether or not to go through with a pregnancy that is going to affect their own bodies, but it's okay to send 18 year-olds off to fight a war?

Other Half

I completely hate and disagree with a romantic partner being referred to as someone's "other half." We are complete in and of ourselves and our romantic partners are just that, our partners in life. One and one make two. There are no two souls merging as one, nor do we need someone to complete us. Even though I am wanting a life partner right now, I view that to-be person as someone with whom I can share my life, not someone without who I am incomplete. So I also do not believe that there is only one person out there for us, but that there can be many, and timing and circumstances can help to determine who that life partner will be.

Perhaps that is why so many relationships fail. People think they have met their soul-mate, that they are in-love and when things are less than perfect, they think they have magically fallen out of love and that the relationship is over. But because the relationship is two individuals coming together, who have their own idiosyncrasies, naturally there are going to be challenges. So love is an action, something that you do, and you have to continue to do it to make the relationship last. Want to continue to get those butterflies 10 years later? Do the things you did for each other when you first started dating.

Remember this: It is easy to love when things are going great for you. It is harder to love during trying times, but most needed and rewarding at those times.

Roles

So what defines a man? What defines a woman? I can't say that I know the answer for sure, which is why I'm throwing out the question. And considering myself to be a feminist, or gender-equalist rather, I've thought about this question more lately. Because after all, women can now go rock-climbing, be astronauts and engineers, etc. (And I had learned that research shows that women who display more adrogenous behaviors are more happy and satisfied.) So now being a woman doesn't mean just working as a teacher, staying at home with the kids and leisure time only involving shopping. So what does define a man and a woman in a relationship, if these days more and more men are staying home, and more and more women are doing more of both professional and leisure stereotypical male activities?

Maybe trying to define the two isn't necessary. All that matters is that two people are in a mutually-loving and egalitarian relationship, being partners in life. Being pregnant certainly cannot define being a woman in the relationship, because that marginalizes homosexual relationships. Lesbians are still women, and gays are still men, if that's how they choose to identify themselves.

But don't get me wrong, in no WAY is it completely equal for men and women in all areas; we still have a long way to go. One example is in the area of dating. My sister and I were watching old episodes of Sex in the City (I admit, I cringe a tad whenever I admit to doing mainstream culture stuff. ;) ). But there's an observation in one show: if men do bold gestures toward women, it's generally considered romantic, but if women do them toward men, it's more considered desperate, or sometimes neurotic.

I really resent that. I've never been the flirtatious type who waits for guys to ask me out. And if guys want to be in control in that regard, then too bad for them. I've accepted that I won't be dating that much by not flouting my breasts or giggling more. I choose to be true to myself, which sometimes involves picking up the phone and asking someone out.

And if you're a guy who'd turn me down because you wanted to do the asking, then you're missing out on going out with a sexy, intelligent, funny, and caring woman.