Happily Ever After

Not that this is headline news or anything, but it has recently hit me hard how much of a disservice TV shows and movies do to us, particularly for those of us who grew up in a sheltered environment. These shows and movies, particularly romance-related ones, give such a warped view of our world. But someone like me, who was not able to get out that much, got most of her information and expectations from such shows. Shows where people are perfect: attractive, intelligent, have a sense of humor, and problems get resolved smoothly with no real hurt feelings. They give women the sense that their mothers' expectations of potential son-in-laws can be met: tall, handsome, nice, responsible, intelligent, rich, and commitment-minded.

I realized that this is a large contributor to my being picky with dating partners. And it's probably safe to say that a lot of people, like the Seinfeld episode points out, find some stupid thing wrong with someone and then don't give that person a chance. Through my dating experiences over the years, I've come to the conclusion that those men I was initially attracted to were not the best fit for me, and that I wasn't seeing those who I may have matched with. I was looking for Mr. Perfect when no such person exists. The people on tv are not the real, wonderful people this world is made of.

I have recently started seeing someone, a man with whom I've felt the most compatible. At one point I was seriously thinking of ending things with him completely, but then decided to tackle the problem in the relationship I was faced with, and because I did so, we have now been seeing each other for over a month and a half and we're having a great time. Otherwise, it could've been a part of my pattern of short-term, casual relationships. Perhaps it was out of habit and not realizing it that I was considering dumping him.

It then hit me: if I hadn't given him a chance despite the issue that came up, I wouldn't have gotten to know him as well, and wouldn't have found him as attractive as I do now. Of course that seems intuitive, but perhaps many relationships do end prematurely, even if we think that ending them is the right thing to do at the time.

After all, if you don't give enough time for an attachment to develop, then you will not regret the break-up, and then you could be missing out on something wonderful.