Resolution check

I was reading a previous post I titled "Reality Check" and realized how conceited it sounds. I'm not really at the point of working toward self-actualization. Well, I mean, yes, we all are, just at different stages in the process. But my post made it sound like I'm very far along. Yes, I can forgive myself, apologize to others and learn from mistakes probably more than average, but when it comes to self-actualization, well, I've realized how much farther away I really am.

Given that it is now June, I thought it was the right time to reflect on the progress I've made with regard to my new year's resolutions. I haven't been as perfect and disciplined as I'd like to be, but I have improved in that I meditate more, remind myself to be in the "here and now", remind myself to not make assumptions about people and situations, and often count my blessings before going to bed. These things have really helped me to cope with challenges and be more content.

But with more self-actualization that I would like to achieve, there is so much more work I need to do. In this crisis I'm going through I realized how much my judgmental personality, a negative worldview, and being unrealistically perfectionistic has made me unhappy. Following-through on my new year's resolutions has helped to cope, but I feel like I've taken on these attributes as a result of having an abusive childhood. They have helped me to survive, but if I want to be really happy now that I'm safe from the abuse, I need to change some things. I need to heal on a much deeper level than just doing these more cognitive activities that help me in the short run.

I hope to, slowly but surely, get there.